Dear Idea

So I finally finished A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I loved it. Near the end of the book, there was this quote:

"To look at everything always as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time: thus is your time on earth filled with glory."

I think these are such inspiring words. This, to me, is what makes reading magical. The truth in what someone else has said. The transformation that can occur within from reading for a few moments on a weekday night.

I have decided to try looking at things this way. I am also going to use this as an inspiration to take more pictures. If I take a snapshot of what I am seeing as though it's the first and last time, I hope to find beauty, inspiration, humor and happiness. Here is picture one:

My office has this Bucky Badger blanket (which I purchased from the Craigslist to cover up the ugly white walls). My friend and I started dressing Bucky-THE BLANKET up for various times of year. As you can see here, Bucky was celebrating the winter Olympics from a couple of years back.

The thing is, I really think the mascot itself is horrifying, but when I look at the blanket I will remember the first time I came here to begin college. Those first days were scary and challenging but on the day that I finally leave, I will think of all that I experienced, how fundamentally changed I am from leaving home at 18 to the person that I am today.

The glory was in the learning.

Until picture number two...

me

Dear Book Addiction

I had sworn off purchasing any new books and only getting them from the library. This past weekend, though, there was a sale and I purchased several. Currently in the queue:

Things Fall Apart
My Life in France - Julia Child
the latest Shopaholic book by Sophie Kinsella

I am currently reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I have been reading it for approximately 476 years. I am a slow reader, but every time I open that book and read some of Betty Smith's words, my brain feels better. This is reason number four that I adore books and language.

me

Dear Stranger

Today whilst procuring for meself a coffee drink at the 'Bucks this morning, a stranger in line behind me warmly greeted me.

"Good morning,!" he belted.

"Good morning," I did not belt in reply.

"You look sparkling this morning," he said and threw his head back and laughed.

"Oh. Thank you. Heh, uh," I graciously and now nervously replied.

"You see, I've lost my mind, so I am looking for replacements," he said and heartily laughed again.

" Ha?," I said.

I got my coffee and quickly left.

That's how mama rolls, homeys.

...

Me

Dear First-Hand Knowledge

Have you ever been asked how you would describe a sunset to a person born blind? It seems an impossible question and an impossible task. How do you help someone to see a sunset when they do not see? I think there is a way to do it, kind of, because you can read a book and imagine a place or person you have never seen on account of the author's descriptions. There is still the issue of explaining something seen to someone who has never had that faculty but if you love a sunset and you love that person, I bet you could do it, you humans. I bet you could do it.

Except.

Now the issue is the love. For me, that is the problem because people are always talking about love and I know there are things I love; I think there are people I love, but I don't know what that is supposed to feel like. Is it warm or cold or like stomach cramps or dizziness or what? When someone loves me, how should it make me feel? Warm, cold, full of stomach cramps?

There is not one sound definition of love. It is too dependent on people who are delicate variables. It means something different to all the humans and the responses you get always come down to: you'll know it when you feel it. Which puts me back at square one, blind, standing in front of a sunset, awash in descriptions, but not truly understanding the words well enough to envision the sky.

What I know right now is that there is someone I think I love who all evidence points to loves me back but since I don't know what that should be making me feel just leaves me feeling confused. The confusion makes me feel like I don't have love because I didn't think a love symptom was confusion. But maybe is. I know that I want to feel confident that they love me back. I hope that they do. I hope to one day see.

Me

Dear Seattle

Is there anything so uplifting as the prospect of what could be on the horizon?

me

Dear Romance

I woke up to find tons of snow everywhere this morning. It took the whole city by surprise and since I LOATHE the snow, this news only served to make me even grumpier than I already was.

I finally got out of my house and onto the very un-plowed road where I had the joy of following behind every car and or truck whose heart was melted by the snow and therefore decided that stopping for any pedestrian who wished to cross the street in the middle of the road (AND NOT THE CROSSWALK) was a way of appeasing the snow gods. Kindness to pedestrians is fine but then the rest of the vehicles behind you have to stop and slide and wait while you shamelessly wave on the walker. Here's something, you humans! If you are walking, and you choose to not go down the road to the crosswalk, I do not feel sorry for you having to wait to cross the street. That is part of the walking gig. I have to wait for lights to change and stop signs and NOW for truckers who mistakenly think that if they stop their cars for the sweet girl in the cute, knit cap she will spell out her phone number in the snow bank and they have a chance at love. You are wrong, trucker. And you are dumb, cute, knit-cap girl.

See? Grumpy.

In an effort to minimize the grump, I stopped by the Starbucks on the way to work. Well, it's not really on the way but I had feelings to eat and I was already 40 minutes late at this point. I figured I may as well be late with a  yummy cappuccino.

On my way into the 'bucks, I saw a young couple, passionately kissing each other goodbye. White flakes around them, bundled up in sweaters and coats and each other. Stopping for a minute but then giving one more last kiss before parting. I thought to myself:

"I would never let anyone kiss me in this weather."

me

Dear Money

I wish you would stay longer.

me