Dear Neighbor

So a couple of weeks ago, I came home and found this note from my neighbor. Apparently my hardcore workouts was causing a lot of distress to the poor dude. I feel sad about this because I truly hadn't meant to upset him and honestly, I had been wondering if the 30 minutes of jumping around early in the morning was heard by anyone in my Bat's Motel of a home.

I am doing this Tracy Anderson workout. It is 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of strength and weight training. When I began it, I ended up with shin splints, because she lit-trally jumps around for 30 minutes. Notice, that I said SHE jumps around for that amount of time. I jump some, power walk some, and sob for the rest.

The strength training is killer but I do think effective. I have muscles in my legs and arms that I did not have before. I am excited about this muscle development. Especially since for some of the training moves, I just look at her like she is mentally deranged. Her doing these moves for an inordinate amount of reps shows me that it is possible for some human to move their body that way for that amount of time, but I am not there yet.

However, seeing muscles develop and my clothes fit better is keeping me motivated, kind of. I have a long, long way to go. My fitness goals include the ownership of fewer pounds and an actual butt. I mean, I have a butt. I can sit, but I don't have a butt of any mention. And with my jeans being ill-fitting, I feel like it just draws more attention to the lack. I am looking forward to having clothes that fit my body. I am looking forward to feeling proud of the corpus machine I built, instead of feeling like I need to hide it or be ashamed of it. I know that as much as the reshaping of my person will be a process, so will be the alteration of my attitude towards my self.

I want to love and respect my body. Even at this current time, though it is still so far from what I wish it looked like, because this body bears the scars and stories of my whole life. And it is the vessel that has carried me this far, to the cusp of my truly figuring out who I am and what I want. But it is hard to have such adoration when my tights are rolling down under my belly and I am yanking on my clothes to cover the rolls of my vessel.

I am working on me. But I digress.

The thing is, I NEVER hear anyone in my building. I mean, occasionally, I hear the music coming out of someone's apartment as I make my way up the steps to my own home. Or on occasion, while I am having the BEAUTY TRANSFORMATION in the bathroom, I hear someone gagging themself during toothbrushing times, but otherwise, nothing. I had hoped that my "aerobic" activity was just as non-intrusive.

Such was not the case.

The note is nice enough and I have been working hard to accommodate his request. The toughest part is that I prefer working out in the morning to the evenings. After being at work all day, I do not care for coming home and working out, but my desire to weigh less and have a stronger body is greater than my dislike of post-employment sweatings.

Losing weight is a real challenge. I feel like every day I am struggling with to eat or not to eat something. I hope that if I can lose more weight, the choices to exercise and eat better will become easier. And! Two weeks ago, I had lunch with friends and they said they could tell that I had lost some pounds. That is the first time that has happened since I began the great body metamorphosis in June.

I still have a long way to go and with my neighbor's request, the transition will have to take place with less resonating repetitive noises. That's cool though. I am all about stealth.