Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Dear minor brain shift,

I wanted to send you a brief note of thanks. Because of that little movement of yours, I see a new opportunity.

You see, I am not one of those ladies who has their whole wedding designed. I don't really want a bridal party, or even a wedding ring, really. I don't care about the colors or the flowers. My biggest focus has always been the reception because I want the slammingest party ever! Lots of people, great music, and most of all, my wedding cake.

My wedding cake is important because I want it to be made of meat. I want a meat cake with mashed potato icing and bridges made of ribs and a gravy fountain. Bacon wreaths and little slider islands surrounding it. (Recently some gastrointestinal issues have made me start to worry about this dream, but I will take some pepto and muscle through.) Anyways, today I was telling THE COWORKER about it (all caps because he is awesome) and I realized, I don't have to wait to my wedding for my cake.

I have mostly made peace with my life of solitude. I made choices and assumptions and this is what it is and it's not so bad. As Lupe rhymes, "Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard." I realized though, that I often say, "if I ever got married, I would do this..." But that is still postponing what I want for some fantasy. And I DETEST the idea that my fullest life can only come if/when I marry. So why wait?

No more waiting.

I am glad for this realization. And while it will take a bit to fully incorporate this shift into my life, as all of my changes are slow, it seems, I want to do this.

I can have my cake and eat the whole dang thing myself. And enjoy it.

With gratitude,
me

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